Insult SMS

1. Flowers+b/fly=A beautiful scene.
Stars+moon=A romantic night.
Rain+monsoon=A lovely weather.
U+ur smile = Bahgo Bhoot aaya.

2. Kya lekar tu aaya tha, kya lekar tu jayega, kya lekar tu aaya tha,
 kya lekar tu jayega.... mujhe sms na kar ke zalim tu kitini chillar bachayega...

3. Aey item kya kar kar rela hai, teri bahut memory arela tha,
 akha world me apun ko ekich to tere jaisa item frnd mila.
 miss to karegaich he na. chal reply chipka dal

4. Tum haste raho, nachte raho, muskurate raho, sada khil khilate raho,
 khush raho aur gungunate raho, mera kya hai, log tumhe hi pagal samzhenge....

5. One day a monkey looked into mirror & said: Oh my ugly face,
 fat nose & killed himself.
Promise me u will not look into mirror, coz I dont wanna loose u!

6. Yeh sulagata jism, Yeh kamp Kampate Honth, Yeh Thartharata bua badan,
 Yeh ladkhadati aawaz, Mujhe pahle hi pata tha ki tumhe MALARIA hai.

7. Good Night
|
Sleep Tight
|
Sweet Dreams
|
|
|
|
For what are you pressing? Lorie bhi sunau kya?

8. Where r u? U r u not replying? I m worried coz todays paper I read that
 due 2 thunder a monkey has been severely injured.
 So if u r safe, SMS me immediately.

9. Lost in a zoo I saw many animals
Mouse
BIRD
Monkey
haila...! U 2

10. U r Ultimate
U r Lovely
U r Likable
U r Unique
In short ......
U r ULLU !!!

11. Forest king Virappan died last week
 In his memory let us all switch off our mobiles for 2 mins
. Plz forward this to all local criminals, as I did.

12. Andheri sadak,
Sunsan kabristan,
sooni haveli,
kala asman,
raat hogai,
Soja shaitan..

13. SomeOne..
MiSSES U..
NeeDS U..
Worries About U
Lonely Without U
Guess Who?
THE MONKEY IN
... THE ZOO ...

14. You=lovely
You=perfect
You=beautiful
You=amazing
You=sweet
You=cute
You=genius
You=fantastic
You=fabulous
Me=liar

15. Abe Khajur, Zoo se bhage hue Langur, abe Sade hue Kele ke Chhilke,
 Chuse hue Aam, Circus k Retired Bander,
(Aisa kisi ko na kehna Feel hota hai).

16. Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
 They said-We want 2 disturb some good person.
 I suggest them ur name. They said -We cannot disturb our boss.

17. Aisa DOSTANA hamara, Mai KASHTI tu kinara,
 Mai DHANUSH tu teer, Mai MATAR tu paneer,
 Mai VARSHA tu badal, Mai RAJMA tu chawal,
 Mai HOT tu cool, Mai APRIL tu...?

18. Have u seen a monkey wrapped in plastic. Nahi na....
Quickly see your driving license.

19. Taste dis SMS
Did u feel da taste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well.....
BANDAR KYA JAANE ADRAK KA SWAAD!!

20. Dar dar bhatakte hai arman ki tarah; har koi milta hai anjan ki tarah;
 In DOSTON se CALL ki aas kya rakhni;
 yeh to SMS bhi bhejte hai aehsaan ki tarah.

21. Baithe tere khayalon me kore kaagaz pe likh dala tera naam,
tasvir utaar daali aur likha ye pegam,
zinda ya murda pakdne wale ko 500/- ka INAAM.

22. INDIA Ko
Aazaad Hue 57
Sal
Hue
Phir Bhi
No PROGRESS!
why? Kyunki Aaj
Bhi
INDIA Ki
Bholi Janta
KAAM-DHANDHA
Chhod Kar
hamara SMS padh
rahi hai...

23. I saw U on ROAD today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine,
 Ur walk SO perfect. My HEART started singing a Sweet Song:
 WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!

24. Tu chand mange me chand dedu, tu raat mange me raat dedu,
 tu dil mange me dil dedu, tu jaan mange,
 Bas yaar Bhik mangne ki bhi ek limit hoti hai

25. This cat is cat the cat best cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat fool cat
 busy cat for cat 30 cat seconds. Now read again without the word - CAT.

26. Tumsa koi zamin par hua to rab se shikayat hogi,
 tumsa koi zamin par hua to rab se shikayat hogi,
 Ek to jhel liya dusra aaya to kayamat hogi.

27. Kabhi hosla bhi ajmana chaiye, bure waqt me muskurana chahiye...,
 jab 7din me khujli ho to 8vedin nahaa lena chahiye.

28. I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour,
 perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

29. In my life I learned how... 2 love 2 smile 2 B happy 2 B strong
 2 work hard 2 B honest 2 B faithful 2 forgive But I couldn't learn how.. 2 4get U...

30. Manzil ki taraf badte chalo.Jo Dil kahe usi rah ko chuno.
 piche walo ko age n ane do aur jo age hai unse age niklo.
 tabhi TRUCK DRIVER banoge!

31. Don't feel sad...don't feel blue...Frankenstein was ugly too

32. I want U to know that U are very important to me,
 It's almost impossible for me to live withput U even 4 a sec! U r my life & I can feel U everywhere , DON'T MIND I WAS TALKING 'BOUT OXYGEN...

33. A study has proved that all fools use their THUMB while reading a SMS
. Now its 2 late dont try 2 change ur finger! Catch another fool!

34. Apple ka juice mango ka juice tarbujh ka juice badam ka juice
  khajur ka juice kaaju ka juice jo sms he naa kare woh KaN-JuiS.!

35. Arz kiya hai ... tuhaar chehraa moti samaan ... tuhaar chehraa moti samaan...
 moti hamaar kutte ka naam.

36. Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga, ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga...
 pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun..phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga

37. Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho..... Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho.....
 Kitni aasani se Jaan le lete ho..... Kisi ne sikhaya hai... ya bachpan se hi kamine ho ?

38. Your network tariff has changed!
 Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller the cheaper!
 Congrats You can make free calls!

39. Jab jab Kanjuso ka naam liya jayega ye mera vishwas hai -
 tera naam sabse upar aayega!
Ab to sms kar de warna kanjusi ke itihas mein tera naam amar ho jayega!

40. Roses r Red, Violets r Blue, Monkeys like u, should b kept in Zoo.
 Dont get angry, u will find ME there too, not in the cage, but LAUGHING AT U...

41. Last night i had a dream..I was walking along the beach..with GOD..
I askd him "Why i've a frnd like U". God replied, "SAB PICHLE JANAM KE PAAP Hai"

42. Aaj, kal, harpal, har samay, har vaqt, maheno, salo saal se
 ek DIL tumhare liye dhadak ta tha aur dhadak ta rahega aur wo DIL hai ur's own DEAR.

43. Main bewkoof MAIN bewkoof MAIN bewkoof newkoof OK OK COOL YAAR..
. tum bewkoof khush!!

44. READ PROPERLY Makaya Hakaya Rumba Zumba Timbak Tumba
 Ragira Vagira Helulu Hetata Naraka Hibaha Pisars Kasura
 Congratulations ! u r perfect AADIVAASI !!!

45. Press Down if u think u r MAD. I can't Believe u Did That! & Again?
 For God Sake! LORD!!. Why u Still Doing it ? truths out now! MENTAL CASE!!

46. U n me went 2 a wishing well. I leaned out n threw a coin,
 u did the same but u leaned too far n fell in.
 And I shouted... 'AAILA IT WORKS.

47. Mandir mein jaap karta hoon, Masjid mein adaab karta hoon,
 Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun isliye
 roz tujhko SMS karke paap karta hoon.

48. Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi.Sagar se gahara koi nahi.
 Aab aapki kya tarif karu... Dost me aap jaisa...Nalayak koi nahi!

49. Barish ke mausam main na sur hai na taal hai..
 Baharon main bhi patjhad sa haal hai..
 aap batao aapki SMS factory main kya aajkal hadtal hia..

50. Abe Pipal ke ped ke sukhe hue patte me chupe hue BHOOT ke panje ki
 last ungli ke tute hue nakhun se beheta khun ke BIMAR BACTERIA...
 Kaise ho ???

51. Har shaam dil bahut Udaas Hota hai, Tumhari dosti ka Ehsaas hota hai,
 Us waqt Tumhari bahut Yaad aati hai Jab Koi Bandar Aas Paas Hota Hai !!!

52. If ever in ur life u r very sad&lonely&feel that u hav lost everything,
 I'll come hold ur hand, take u 4 wak & show u the bridge u were 2 jump from.

53. Winter comes again & again, summer comes again & again,
 but person like u never comes again & again,
 bcoz god never make mistakes again & again.

54. Aap humari gali main ae, thoda sharmae, thoda muskuraye,
 thoda itrae, thoda ghabraye AUR PHIR jor se chilaye
 "ALLAH KE NAAM PE KUCH DE DE BABA ...!"

55. Stars + moon = romantic night, Birds + sky = lovely day,
 Forest + animals = beautiful world, YOU+YOUR SMILE = "DARNA MANA HAI"

56. Jab apne hume dekha tirchi nazar se to hum madhosh ho gaye.
 jab hume pata chala ki aap dekhte hi tircha hain to hum behosh ho gaye?.....

57. 'PAPAD' aur 'JHAPAD' mein kya fark hai? ? ? ? think... ? keep on thinking... ? ?
 I know u can think this... ? ? ? buss soch mat KHA ke dekh...

58. If i was an artist, u wud b my picture! If i was a poet, u wud b my inspiration!
 If i was an author, u wud b my story! But i'm only a cartoonist & u r my cartoon.

59. Agar apko lagta hai ki aap handsome hain, smart hain,
 charming hain to billi paliye...sher paliye..
 kutta paliye magar galat fahmi mat paliye

60. Jale ko aag kahte hai. Bujhe ko khak kahte hai.
 Aap me jo cheej missing hai usi ko dimag kahte hai...

61. Ummid ki Eemarat Dheh Gayi. Aankhon Se Aansu Ki Nadi Beh Gayi.
 Tumhari Kya Izzat Reh Gayi. Jab Pados Ki Ladki Tumhe Bhaiya Keh Gayi...

62. Bhagwan se scooter manga to car diya, ghar manga to bangla diya,
 phone manga to mobile diya, aur jab dost manga to tumhe diya....
 Is baar itna zulm kyun kiya.

63. Arz kiya hai- "Bus nazaron se dekh liya hota agar tammana thi darane ki,
 hum yun hi behosh ho jate, kya jaroorat muskurane ki!

64. When u were born D clouds parted God appeared b4 all mankind
  And proclaimed Sorry, no refund or exchange available!

65. I bet u, u will read dis twice "This man is man nice man 1 man 2 man
 see man some man 1 man losing man in a man bet man with man me man "!
 Wanna read without'man'?

66. We like each other bcoz
 U think Im Nice I think ur Nice
 U think Im Cool I think ur Cool
 U think Im Sweet I think ur Sweet
 U think Im Smart I Think Ur right.

67. Your momma's so fat, when she got on the scales to be weighted,
 it said 'To be continued.'

68. Tum kitne cool ho innocent ho. smart ho. ache ho. sache ho...
 aur ek main hoon jhoot pe jhoot bole ja raha hoon!

69. HI SAWAN HERE. PROMISE ME V R GOOD FRNDS.
 I M LITE U R LAMP. I M WATER U R TANKY. I M TARZEN U R MONKEY.

70. Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death. ?
 Save The World, , , , , , , , , So Plz start brushing regularly

71. It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle Million soldiers 2 protect a country
 BUT Just One woman 2 make a Happy HOME ! Let's Thank .... KAAMWALI

72. To prove you are not an idiot take the test below: press down press up look,
 u cudnt follow the instructions. You failed. You are an "IDIOT"

73. Close ur eyes & imagine : chand ka bed, taron ki razayi,
 phoolon ka takya aur pariyon ke sapne,
 come back 2 earth & sleep on ur own Khatiya. Gud Nite!

74. Ur smile cn b compard 2a flower, ur voice cn b compard 2a cucku bird,
 ur inocence 2a child but in stupidity u hv NO COMPARISON...!!

75. No matter how high the sky is.. How deep the ocean is..
 How strong the wind is.. How wide a river is.. I just wanna tell u..
 They r none of ur business!

76. SPECIAL OFFER: Surprise ur girlfriend by sending a romantic kiss 2day.
 Just dial 9886748045 & say ur girlfriend's name & address. I'll go & kiss her.

77. Our friendship means so much to me that if we were the last people
 on a sinking ship & we have only 1 life jacket i will . . . mmmm. . . .
 i"ll miss u....yaar

78. 1 message received 1 nice person snt it 1 Bakra is readn'g nw Bakra is angry
 nw Bakra is still read'g Nw Bakra 'll fwd ths 2all his friends(Bakra's)

79. Last night i dreamt or U. This morning, my first thought was U.
 I think of U the whole day today. I think i like U.
 Tommorrow i'll think of V then W,X,Y&Z.

80. u've got STYLE. u've got CLASS. u've got BEAUTY. u've got FACE.
 u've got CHARM. u've got BRAINS! Oops galat number pe bhej diya !

81. Geeta mein likha hai... | | | | | | | Arey yahan kya dekh rahe ho,
 kaha na geeta mein likha hai...!

82. Kate nahi kat-te hai lamhe intezar ke,
 nazre bichaye baithe hai raste pe yaar ke,
 dil ne kaha dekhe jo jalwe husn-e yaar ke,
 laya hai kaun inko pagalkhane se nikal ke.

83. Do u want a Nokia 6600 absolutely free, with a free simcard having free sms
 & free outgoing..? Simply log on to www.stop-dreaming-u-ass-hole.com

84. Wo bhi kya din the, jab log tumhe deewano ki tarah kiss kiya karte the,
 par hai re tumhari yeh phooti kismat, ki us waqt tum do saal ke hua karte the.

85. Aaj tum DIL mango,dedenge. DHADKAN mango, dedenge.JIGAR denge,
 JISM aur JAAN tak manglo, to de sakte hai. Kyunki pancho films ki VCD ghar par hai.

86. Mast hawao ka jhoka aaya, man mein kitne umange laaya,
 phir mere dil main khayal aaya, ki mera dost aaj bhi nahi NAHAAYA!

87. Aaj kuch ghabraye se lagte ho, thand se kapkapaye se lage ho,
 NIKHAR kar aaye hai surat aapki, bahut dino baad nahaye lagte ho !

88. Somethings r made for each other. For example..
. Shoe and socks soap and water Paper and pen Shirt and Pant
  Me and Your GirlFriend

89. Shaktiman dushmano se ladh raha hai... Batman raat mein ghoom raha hai...
 Spiderman deewaron pe chadh raha hai... aur Dobberman sms padh raha hai. . .

90. Three Things i LIKE about YOU 1._____ 2,___ ____ 3.______
Arre kuchh to achha kiya hota zindagi mein..

91. Do you remember the day we traveled in a car? I put my dog out of the window,
 you put ur face out, then people started shouting "Twins Twins".

92. Friend, I need ur help urgently. Chloroform is out of stock in dis hospital.
 Pls Send ur SOCKS!

93. U r the sweetest person i have ever met.
Yakin nahi hota..... na?
Chand Sitaron ki kasam!
0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0
0O0O0O0O0O0O00OO0O0O00O
O0O0O00O000000000OO0O0O
Yeh saare chand sitare kahan gayab ho gaye....

94. U are...
I. D. I. O. T.
Intelligent
 Decent
  Impressive
   Optimistic
    Talented
R u smilin now?
 * YOU IDIOT*

95. Both of us went 2 a wishing well. I bent down threw a coin & made a wish.
 U bent down but u bent a little more n fell into d well. I shouted Hey it works. :-)

96. God made light and called it sun.
God made entertainment & called it fun.
God made---------------------------------
God made u & called it "CARTOON".

97. O Burai ke Rasgulle, Paap ki barfi, Bewafai ke laddu, Matlabi chikki,
 Dhokebaazi ki jalebi, Badmashi ke pede, jhoot ke gulkand, U R So SWEET !

98. Karan johar is directing a new film and looking 4new talent.
 I've suggested ur name.
 Pls go and meet him. The name of the movie is AKAL HO NA HO.

99. Just go to hell !!
Yes you!
U only !
because only you can change hell into heaven by your
sweetness..!!

100. If i had a camera
I'll snap ur every moment
evry smile
evry memory
n keep...
in my..
kitchen to scare the mice.

101. What's the diff btwn. a red rose, a car, and a monkey?
 A rose is so dear, a car is too dear, and a monkey is U DEAR.

102. Kaise ho mazeme?
Tabiyat Kaisi?
Baki Aanand mangal?
Ungli mei dard nahi na?
Aankh bi ok na?
Dimag Thikane na?
Kamal ho yar phr to msg ke skte ho...

103. If i distrbd U
I Am Sorry!
But i Need
To Say
I..
Love
DISTURBING U !

104. Look at the world as one big chocolate cake.
 It would never be complete without few sweets N nuts...
 Sweets like ME n nuts like YOU

105. If u care 4 me, i care 4 u,
u miss me, i miss u
u like me, i like u,
u msg me, i msg u
u forget me, i'm sorry this is where i'm different from u!

106. U got style, u got sex-appeal, u got the intelligence and u sure got the body.
 Wait. Sorry, wrong number!

107. Yes, God made you first, but there is always a rough draft before the final copy.

108. Its magic press down four times & U'll see AISHVARYA RAI!!
 AAJ BHI LOG TUJHE POPAT BANATE HAI...

109. There is a place where i miss u where seeing every face
 i feel its u where every voice reminds me of u everyone resembles u, we call it a zoo....

110. Jab bagon mein bahar ayegi tab mere sms ki bauchar ayegi,
 tanhaiyan to tumhari dur ho jayegi, par mere Mobile ka bill bharne tumhari SAAS ayegi.

111. GOOD MORNING Have u done the 2 most imp things 2 start the day?
 1 - PRAY:So that u can live, 2-TAKE A BATH:So that others can live.

112. Hey, Whr r u. I m dying 2 meet u. I miss u so much. I got bananas n peanuts 4u.
 Bt dis watchman is nt allowing me to enter the zoo... So hw r u my dear langur

113. Mohabbat pehli baar ho jaye to bholapan hai, dusri bar ho jaye to apnapan hai,
 teesri bar ho jaye to deewanapan hai, yeh jo bar bar ho jaye to kameenapan hai!!!

114. Count the no of stars 2 fulfill ur wish
 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Iski to gayi,
 Din mein taare gin raha hai!